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The Xenophile Historian

K. U. P.

(Kimball's Unauthorized Perversion)

Quotes and Stories Index Page

I don't know how you got here, so I am assuming you are looking for the quotes and stories which make up Chapters 1, 2 and 5. Just click on a link to one of the chapter home pages.


Chapter 1: Various Words of Wisdom

 Topics from this chapter include:
  • Some of My Favorite Proverbs
  • More Wit From the Famous
  • Mark Twain Quotes
  • This is an Old Saying--That I Just Made Up!
  • I Don't Know Who Said these, But I Love 'em Anyway!
  • Ancient Sumerian Proverbs
  • The Ten Greatest Unanswered Questions of Our Time
  • Now Here's Some More Questions I Would Like Answers For
  • The Ten Commandments of Electronic Publishing
  • Bumper Snickers
  • The Top Ten T-Shirt Slogans of the Summer
  • Southern Quotes
  • Niven's Laws
  • Classy Insults
  • Paraprosdokians
  • A Serious and a Funny Quote for the Day
Chapter 2: Some of My Favorite Stories

 Topics from this chapter include:
  • Modernized Fairy Tales
  • The Ant and the Grasshopper Revisited
  • Fixing a Flat
  • What if There Had Been Consultants Two Thousand Years Ago?
  • One Story, Four Perspectives
  • Ain't It the Truth
  • A Modern Prayer
  • A Serbian Fable
  • A Neighborly Lesson
  • Your Tax Dollars at Work
  • The Original Warning About a Trojan Horse
  • The Y0k and Y1K Crises
  • Two Heroes
  • The Tears of a Clown
  • Two Gems from Mark Twain
  • How To Do Nothing
  • Teaching a Horse to Talk
  • The Wild and Free Pigs of the Okefenokee Swamp
  • The Ambulance Down in the Valley
  • The Eagle and the Chickens
  • Ten Men In A Bar
  • How to End a Blood Feud Without Hurting Anybody
Chapter 5: They Really Said It

 Topics from this chapter include:
  • A Collection of Dumb Quotes
  • Why Athletes and Coaches Can't Have Regular Jobs
  • Some Predictions That Were Really Off
  • Dumb Questions & Answers in the Courtroom
  • Dubious Product Warning Labels
  • Dilbertesque Quotes
  • Something Was Lost In The Translation
  • Funny Classified Ads
  • The Irish Bull

Or just click here, for the first page in the folder.

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