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The Xenophile Historian





THE HOLY BOOK OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS,
K. U. P.


(Kimball's Unauthorized Perversion)





The Top Ten T-Shirt Slogans of the Summer



Some of the wittiest things I've heard came from bumper stickers. I think it's because space is so limited--you have to keep whatever you're saying short and to the point. Anyway, here are some of my favorites:

  1. I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won.
  2. I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy.
  3. God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends.
  4. If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going.
  5. Veni, Vidi, Visa: I Came. I Saw. I Shopped.
  6. Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.
  7. What If The Hokey Pokey Really Is What It's All About?
  8. Liberal Arts Major . . . Will Think For Money.
  9. Gravity . . . it's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
  10. If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen.

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