THE HOLY BOOK OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS,
K. U. P.
(Kimball's Unauthorized Perversion)
I Don't Know Who Said these, But I Love 'em Anyway!
- "Eat a bullfrog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day!"
- "You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but a good, fresh roadkill will beat both hands down!" (saw this on a greeting card)
- "Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things."
- "There are some status-seekers who would fight for a first-class cabin on the Titanic."
- "An army of sheep led by a lion will defeat an army of lions led by a sheep."
- "I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It's much more humane."
- "A closed mouth gathers no flies."--French Proverb
- "The best memory is that which forgets nothing but injuries. Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust."--Persian proverb
- "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."--French Proverb
- "The Ark was built by men of faith. The Titanic was built by professionals."
- "History repeats itself because nobody listens."
- "Learn a new language and get a new soul."--Czech proverb
- "Man is the only creature clever enough to build skyscrapers and foolish enough to jump from them."
- "Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them."
- "Knowledge - Application = Deception"
- "When the mouse laughs at the cat, there's a hole nearby."--Nigerian Proverb
- "Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case!"
- "Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken." (the author is presumed dead)
- "The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it."
- "If you think up the solution to the world's problems in high school, chances are that somebody has tried it already."
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