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The Xenophile Historian





THE HOLY BOOK OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS,
K. U. P.


(Kimball's Unauthorized Perversion)





I Don't Know Who Said these, But I Love 'em Anyway!


  1. "Eat a bullfrog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day!"
  2. "You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but a good, fresh roadkill will beat both hands down!" (saw this on a greeting card)
  3. "Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things."
  4. "There are some status-seekers who would fight for a first-class cabin on the Titanic."
  5. "An army of sheep led by a lion will defeat an army of lions led by a sheep."
  6. "I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It's much more humane."
  7. "A closed mouth gathers no flies."--French Proverb
  8. "The best memory is that which forgets nothing but injuries. Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust."--Persian proverb
  9. "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."--French Proverb
  10. "The Ark was built by men of faith. The Titanic was built by professionals."
  11. "History repeats itself because nobody listens."
  12. "Learn a new language and get a new soul."--Czech proverb
  13. "Man is the only creature clever enough to build skyscrapers and foolish enough to jump from them."
  14. "Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them."
  15. "Knowledge - Application = Deception"
  16. "When the mouse laughs at the cat, there's a hole nearby."--Nigerian Proverb
  17. "Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case!"
  18. "Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken." (the author is presumed dead)
  19. "The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it."
  20. "If you think up the solution to the world's problems in high school, chances are that somebody has tried it already."

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