Have you noticed how a lot of American states have mottos that don't tell visitors what to expect? Oklahoma, for example, calls itself the Sooner State, New York calls itself the Empire State, and Pennsylvania calls itself the Keystone State. What am I supposed to learn from those? That Pennsylvanians like to build stone arches? Meanwhile, Florida and South Dakota, two states that have nothing in common, both call themselves "the Sunshine State"; what's up with that? And have you seen the Alabama license plate that says "Stars Fell on Alabama?" That's going to have me watching out for falling meteors, the next time I'm there!
Anyway, a few years ago the following mottos/slogans were proposed to tell visitors what the states are really like. As far as I know, none are currently being used.
Alabama: At Least We Aren't Mississippi
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literasy Ain't Everything
California: As Seen On TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only With Less Character
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Okay, Maybe Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota: Ten Thousand Lakes ... And Ten Trillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, And Right-Wing Crazies, But At Least Our Cows Are Sane!
Nebraska: You're Not In Kansas Anymore
Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Gila Monsters Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: Don't Judge Us By Cleveland
Oklahoma: Like Texas Without The Money
Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yearrgh!
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Hillbillies Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Environmentalists!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really!
Wisconsin: Come Smell Our Dairy Air
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... And The Sheep Are Scared !!!
And now, so Canadian readers won't feel left out, here are some proposed mottos for their provinces and territories!
Alberta: Texas With Snow
British Columbia: Drought Free For 2 Billion Years
Labrador: Now With Running Water
Manitoba: We're Dull, But At Least We Aren't Ontario
New Brunswick: Much Better Than Old Brunswick
Newfoundland: Enough With The Jokes, Already!
Northwest Territories: Hypothermia Builds Character
Nova Scotia: More Scottish Than The Scots
Nunavut: The Friendliest Ten People In Canada!
Ontario: The Rest Of Canada Revolves Around Us
Prince Edward Island: Take Ten Minutes And Explore All We Have To Offer
Quebec: Quel Est Ce «Canada» Dont Vous Parlez? (What Is This "Canada" You Speak Of?)
