The Xenophile Historian

1. Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

2. Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
The designated hitter rule has got to go.

3. Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

4. Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

5. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

6. (At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?
Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?

7. Sona si Latine loqueris.
Honk if you speak Latin.

8. Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
If you can read this you're over-educated.

9. Vidi Vici Veni.
I saw, I conquered, I came.

10. Vacca foeda.
Stupid cow.

11. Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.

12. Raptus regaliter.
Royally screwed.

13. Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

14. Gramen artificiosum odi.
I hate Astroturf.

15. Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
Don't call me, I'll call you.

16. Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn't rhyme.

17. Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.

18. Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.

19. Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!

20. Re vera, potas bene.
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.

21. Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
May barbarians invade your personal space!

22. Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant!
May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!

23. Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

24. Radix lecti.
Couch potato.

25. Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?

26. O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!

27. Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I'm home.

28. Tarn exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.

29. Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.

30. Te precor dulcissime supplex!
Pretty please with a cherry on top!

31. Magister Mundi sum!
I am the Master of the Universe!

32. Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!

33. Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

34. Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.

35. Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.

36. Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
Let's all wear mood rings!

37. Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum.
Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.

38. Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

39. Catapuitam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

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