The other day I was scrolling through the spam ads in my e-mail for cheap Rolex watches, sure-fire stock tips, letters from Africa asking for help, and various "marital aids" (I'm not the only one who gets those, right?), and I thought, "Gee, I wonder what these spam subject lines looked like way back in olden times. You know, before there were computers?" Here is what the ancestors of today's spammers would have sent:
Order Your British Redcoats Playing Cards!
Ogg, Please Read: Name-Brand Berries for Your Cave Paintings!
Augmenteth Thy Codpiece!
Can't Start Smoking? We Can Help!
Buy Your Own Continent With NO TRINKETS DOWN!!
URGENT VIRUS ALERT! Don't Open Your City Gates for Giant Wooden Horses! (Read this letter, too.)
URGENT ASSIS-TANCE NEEDED BY MRS. JULIUS CAESAR WITH 800,000 SESTERCES GOLD
Feel young again, Lazarus!
The HOTTEST Puritan Women Taking Their Bonnets Off Just For YOU!!!
Take Inches Off Your Waistline! New Corset Works Miracles!
Discount Maile-Order Leeches Delivered By Plaine Browne Buggy To Your Home -- Without a Barber's Prescription!
You, Too, Can Work From Your Teepee!
It's August 1929: Do You Know Where Your Money Is? HOT!! Stock Tips Inside!----->
