The Xenophile Historian

What happens when you play a country song backwards?
You get your girl back, you get your dog back, you get your truck back, and you sober up!



Anyway, these are the best titles to country songs I have heard of:

1. Do You Love As Good As You Look?
2. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
3. Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
5. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
6. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
7. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
8. I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
9. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
10. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
11. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
12. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
13. I Wanna Whip Your Cow
14. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
15. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
16. I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
17. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
18. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
19. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
20. If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
21. If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
22. If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
23. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
24. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
25. May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Ass
26. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
27. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
28. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
29. Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You.
30. Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill.
31. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
32. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
33. She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
34. When You Leave, Walk Out Backwards So I'll Think You're Walking In
35. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
36. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
37. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
38. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
39. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
40. I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

It's hard to get you off my mind when you're always on my face.

While I was out gettin' hammered she was home gettin' nailed.

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