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The Xenophile Historian

Don't Bother Taking It With You

There was a man who was both wealthy and good, but he also wanted, more than anything else, to "take it with him" when he died.

He prayed to God for many days about this, until finally the Lord gave in: the man could bring whatever he could fit into one suitcase.

Next, the rich man wondered what kind of money would be accepted in Heaven. Dollars? Pound notes? Stock certificates? In the end he decided that gold was the safest bet, so he converted part of his wealth into gold bullion, and put that in the suitcase.

Some time after that, God called him home. At the gates of Heaven, St. Peter greeted him by saying, "Welcome to Heaven. Leave your suitcase here and go in to receive your eternal reward."

"Oh, but I have an agreement with God," the man explained. "He said I could bring the suitcase."

"That's unusual," said St. Peter. "Mind if I take a look?"

The man opened the suitcase to reveal the shining gold bullion. St. Peter was amazed. "Pavement! Why in the world would you bring pavement?"

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