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The Xenophile Historian





THE HOLY BOOK OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS,
K. U. P.


(Kimball's Unauthorized Perversion)





A Liberal History of the United States



In these politically correct times, we’re lucky we can still observe Independence Day, with a government and an entertainment industry full of people that want to convince us that there’s nothing special about the United States, that we’re "just another nation." Because we can use a day off in the middle of the summer, to go with Memorial Day at the beginning and Labor Day at the end, I don’t expect the holiday to disappear completely.  More likely it will be watered down to the point of being meaningless, another excuse for workers to take the day off, and for merchants to offer specials.  Then it will fit in with the liberal version of American history.

In a nutshell, here is the liberal, politically correct history of the United States:

Native Americans evolved from apes.

Columbus came and raped and killed Native Americans because he thought they were Indians.

The Pilgrims came, gave Native Americans a Thanksgiving dinner, and ripped them off by buying Manahattan for glass beads and trinkets.

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson invented slavery.

Abraham Lincoln was a victim of gun violence.

Woodrow Wilson saved the world and invented peace.

Franklin Roosevelt cured the great depression.

Richard Nixon raped women at My Lai and was impeached for Viet Nam.

Bill Clinton was the greatest president before Obama.

BushHitler invaded Iraq.

What they really said in 1776


For those who want to know what really happened, read my papers on US and Canadian history.  You will find them under the name The Anglo-American Adventure.  See you there!



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